Desire for Enlightenment is Necessary

Sri Annamalai Swami

Q: I can therefore blame God, destiny or Bhagavan for everything that happens to me in this world. But at the same time, I have to assume responsibility for everything that goes on inside me.

AS: Correct. This Bhagavan you speak of is not a body, a person who existed at some time. All is Bhagavan; all is Ramana. There can be no mistakes in following Bhagavan's path because Bhagavan is like an eternal light that is always burning, a grace that is always giving. To be aware of Bhagavan is to be aware of this inner truth. If you are not aware of this Bhagavan, it is your responsibility, not his. He is not hiding from you; you are hiding from him. He does not think that he is separate from you. It is you who believe that you are separate from him.

Q: The outside world is a miserable, confusing place. There is not much going on there that helps us to remember who we really are.

AS: Yes, you can say that this state of affairs is also Bhagavan 's Grace, Bhagavan 's compassion. You could say that he keeps the world like this as an incentive to go inwards. This state of affairs sets up a real choice: if we go outwards there are problems; if we go inwards there is peace.

Q: I want to ask about some other aspect of this that sometimes troubles me. The desire to become absorbed in the Self seems to be some kind of vasana. It is still a desire, and to indulge in it implies that I must look for something that I don't already have. With this attitude I then feel that I am setting up enlightenment as some kind of future goal, and not as something that is here and now. There is something very dualistic in this attitude, and I sometimes get the feeling that I am not accepting B's will for the present moment if I am looking for something that is not here and now.

AS: This desire is not counterproductive. The desire for enlightenment is necessary because without it you will never take the necessary steps to realize the Self. A desire to walk to a particular place is necessary before you take any steps. If that desire is not present, you will never take the first step. When you realize the Self that desire will go.