Q: When Bhagavan spoke about the death experience that happened to him when he was about 16 years old, he said, "I held my breath and kept my lips tightly closed so that no sound could escape. Neither word 'I' nor any other could escape." Why did he do this?
AS: He did not want mental energy to escape through the mouth. The five senses are always moving outwards in an attempt to engage the world. The mouth is one of the channels through which the five senses move outwards into the world. When the mind and breath are restrained, when mental energy is not moving outwards to engage with the world and its objects, the mind starts to go back into its source. At sixteen Bhagavan may not have known this, but this is effectively what happened.
This death experience was something that happened to him. It did not occur as a result of something that he consciously did.
Q: Bhagavan wanted to know the answer to the question 'Who am I?' He seemed to find the answer straight away. When I ask the question, when I try to find out what the Self is, I can reject thoughts that arise as being not me, but nothing else happens. I don't get the answer that Bhagavan did, so I am beginning to wonder why I am asking the question.
AS: You say that you are not getting the right answer. Who is this 'you'? Who is not getting the right answer?
Q: Why should I ask? Asking has not produced the right answer so far.
AS: You should persist and not give up so easily. When you intensely enquire 'Who am I?' the intensity of your enquiry takes you to the real Self. It is not that you are asking the wrong question. You seem to be lacking intensity in your enquiry. You need a one-pointed determination to complete this enquiry properly. Your real Self is not the body or the mind. You will not reach the Self while thoughts are dwelling on anything that is connected with the body or the mind,
AS: You say that you are not getting the right answer. Who is this 'you'? Who is not getting the right answer?
Q: Why should I ask? Asking has not produced the right answer so far.
AS: You should persist and not give up so easily. When you intensely enquire 'Who am I?' the intensity of your enquiry takes you to the real Self. It is not that you are asking the wrong question. You seem to be lacking intensity in your enquiry. You need a one-pointed determination to complete this enquiry properly. Your real Self is not the body or the mind. You will not reach the Self while thoughts are dwelling on anything that is connected with the body or the mind,
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