Come Back To Yourself

Sri Annamalai Swami

Q: My doubts are not my only problem. I find that my yearning for the Self is not very strong. This bothers me quite a lot.

AS: When you forget the state of being yourself, then is the time to enquire, "Who forgets the Self? Who is in doubt? Who is having the confusion?" Enquire in this way. Discard all that is not you and come back to yourself.

Q: Sometimes I am overpowered by self-doubt.

AS: If the meditation is not continuous enough, the other part of the mind becomes predominant. You have to overpower this mind that is taking you away from yourself by repeatedly doing this self-enquiry.

When you churn curd and separate butter and buttermilk, they will not becomes one again after they have been separated. If you take milk from the cow's udder, it will never go back into the cow again. In the same way, if your become established int he Self, you will never go back into ignorance again.

Q: When I do have these self doubts, the yearning or the desire to know myself does come up quite strongly, but at other times it is not there so strongly. What do you think about this?

AS: Whatever may be happening, enquire, "To whom is all this happening?" Do this and go back to your Self, which is peace.

Q: I thought that this yearning was a plus point in my favor. Isn't it a help to have this yearning?

AS: If the intensity to know yourself is strong enough, the intensity of your yearning will take you to the Self.

Q: But still, I must keep up with the enquiry.

AS: If you remain in the Self, enquiry will not be necessary. If you move away from the Self and go back to the mind, you then have to enquire again and go back to your Self.