'I', The First Name of God

Sri Ramana Maharshi

8-5-1946

In the afternoon there was the following talk with a young sadhu from North India: 

Sadhu: I want to know who I am. The Arya Samajists say that I am the jivatma and that if I purify the mind and buddhi I can see God. I don’t know what to do. If Bhagavan thinks fit, will Bhagavan please tell me what to do?

Bhagavan: You have used a number of terms. What do you mean by jivatma, mind, buddhi and God? And where is God and where are you that you should want to go and see God?

Sadhu: I don’t know what all these terms mean.

Bhagavan: Then never mind what the Arya Samajists tell you. You don’t know about God and other things, but you do know that you exist. You can have no doubt about that. So find out who you are.

Sadhu: That is what I want to know. How can I find out? 

Bhagavan: Keep all other thoughts away and try to find out in what place in your body the ‘I’ arises.

Sadhu: But I am unable to think about this.

Bhagavan: Why? If you can think about other things you can think about ‘I’ and where in your body it arises. If you mean that other thoughts distract you, the only way is to draw your mind back each time it strays and fix it on the ‘I’. As each thought arises, ask yourself: “To whom is this thought?” The answer will be, “to me”; then hold on to that “me”. 

Sadhu: Am I to keep on repeating “Who am I?” so as to make a mantra of it? 

Bhagavan: No. ‘Who am I?’ is not a mantra. It means that you must find out where in you arises the I-thought which is the source of all other thoughts. But if you find this vichara marga too hard for you, you can go on repeating “I, I” and that will lead you to the same goal. There is no harm in using ‘I’ as a mantra. It is the first name of God. God is everywhere, but it is difficult to conceive Him in that aspect, so the books have said, “God is everywhere. He is also within you. You are Brahman.” So remind yourself: “I am Brahman”. The repetition of ‘I’ will eventually lead you to realise “I am Brahman”.